A collection of reflections of the Priesthood by Fr. Michael Pavlakovich

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 12

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:09:28 -0600

So what has stood out over the 22 years of ordained ministry as a priest in the Catholic Church? I have become aware that I am madly in love with Jesus Christ! I realize that every challenge, stumbling block and naysayer along the way was there for a purpose. Each challenge became a growth experience, each stumbling block a stepping stone and each naysayer a person who in most cases became a friend and a support.

Someone who has known me for over thirty years said to me the other day, “You really love being a priest don’t you?” I could only respond, “Yes, absolutely!” And it’s because I am keenly aware of the fact that this IS what God wants from me in my life. HE ordained it to be so that I would be a priest long ago. It was simply a matter of saying “yes” and continuing to say “yes” everyday!

Sure there are good and bad times. Certainly there are moments, split seconds where I lose it and want to run the other way. Who doesn’t have these moments in their life? But it is because of my love for the Lord and His people that I keep trying again and again.

I could easily spend my days on the golf course (if I knew how to play golf) or spend every afternoon at the health club (don’t say it…I know!). It would not be difficult to constantly be traveling and insulate myself from others so as not to have to deal with various challenges that come my way. But if I did any of this, I would miss out on so much of life!

Do you have any idea what a great humbling privilege it is to be called upon in those special moments in people’s life where they are experiencing change? Whether in a moment of joy like a baptism, first communion or wedding, or a moment of sorrow and healing as with anointing, reconciliation, or in the process of dying, to be a vehicle through which God can speak to His children is amazing.

I have been so blessed to hold the hands of the dying, be embraced by a little one whose love is without measure or condition, to see the love in the eyes of newlyweds and tears of worry streaming from a mother’s face who has had a miscarriage.

I have been humbled at the holiness shown by the elderly woman who kissed my hand out of respect for my consecrated life or the grown man who was comfortable to cry in my arms at the break-up of his relationship.

I have experienced and seen a glimpse of the Face of God in the eyes of the child who looks in wonder and awe when telling a story from the bible or the total abandonment on the face of the teen on their knees before the Blessed Sacrament.

These and many millions of moments bless me each day. I give thanks to God for the many expressions of His love shown to me throughout my priesthood and the numerous individuals who have crossed my path. I pray that we are both changed for the better having journeyed together in faith. I can only hope and pray that more young men can share these blessings and say “yes” to God’s bidding as priests for our Church. And most especially, I give thanks for my parents, family and parish family whose faith inspires me and continues to do so each day as I seek to respond,

“Here I am Lord; I come to do your will.”

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 11

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:08:01 -0600

I returned to the Archdiocese and was assigned to St. Frances Cabrini parish. The pastor had really put in a great deal of time and energy building up the spirit of the parish. It was refreshing to serve with another priest who really loved his people and his priesthood. With that rejuvenated spirit and an enthusiastic pastor, for five years we made a good team in caring for the needs of the people. It was the longest I had ever been at one place which made a huge difference in feeling connected and in my personal commitment and dedication to the ministry God was doing through me.

After five years I was asked to move and take a pastorate again. I was given the privilege to be the pastor of Light of the World Parish! I was received with mixed reviews, preconceived ideas, rumors, uncertainty and yes, even love. It was really no different from any other parish. However, over the years, going from place to place, I had become more sensitive to people’s words, actions and body language. The transition would not prove to be smooth.

Over time, some of the parishioners and staff shifted to other places. In the mean time, the parish was growing. There was a great deal of ministry to be done. The spiritual, emotional and physical needs of the parishioners were also growing and still numerous people were joining the parish each week seeking a family for solace and praise; a place they could live their faith and worship God. My prayers increased and I sought out good, holy people who could come together in faith, work together, advise me on various areas of parish life and who, like me, wanted only the best for our parish. Their dedication and goodness proved to be invaluable!

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 10

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 10:06:21 -0600

Finally I was asked to be a pastor. When I was in the seminary we always used to joke that if you did something wrong the bishop would send you to Brush. Needless to say when I got the assignment to be Pastor in Brush, I received a great many phone calls from friends asking “what happened?”

Four years in the country of the Eastern Plains of Colorado only solidified the fact that I am a city-kind-of-guy! I loved the parishioners and the parish, but it was difficult to go from the “always busy suburban parishes” to a small place on the Plains.

After that I was sent to St. John’s in Loveland. Finally a parish with a school! Now don’t get me wrong, I loved the school and parish communities of the parish. But running a parish with a school is no picnic. Financially you are always on the edge of running in the red! There were numerous challenges and blessings. I finally understood why my classmates were trying to avoid parishes with a school.

Needless to say, during my time at St. John’s we as a parish experienced a great deal of growth. Membership, participation and stewardship increased as did the school and the buildings on the property! I finally felt as though I was getting the hang of being a pastor and finding some balance.

After two years, it was time for a sabbatical. I left St. John’s and went to St. Louis for six months into a program for priests and religious women. It was an incredible experience which enabled me to learn a great deal more about myself personally and the ministerial work in which I wanted to improve. It was a humbling and blessed experience. When the program was over I turned 40 years old. Life truly did begin at 40 for me! My spirit and priesthood was renewed and I was ready to return to the trenches of parish life!

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 9

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 10:04:23 -0600

Fortunately, before St. Thomas Seminary closed its doors in 1995, many of us were able to experience the blessings and challenges of a new era. Near the end of my third year of theological studies, Archbishop Casey died. Retired Bishop Newell was called in to ordain my class to the transitional Diaconate.

For the Summer and throughout the next year I would serve as a transitional deacon at St. Joseph’s Parish in Ft. Collins while finishing up my final year of theology school. I graduated in the Spring of 1987 and I was later ordained to the priesthood on June 6, 1987.

For my first assignment, I remembering sitting with my classmates at the dinner table of the Vicar for Clergy at the time. He asked where each of us wanted to be assigned. All my classmates asked that they be assigned to parishes without schools. I actually said I’d like to go where there was a school. Have you been following the story? If so then you know that all my classmates went to parishes with schools and I was assigned to a parish without a school.

I was assigned to be the Parochial Vicar (Assistant Pastor) of St. Michael the Archangel Parish in Aurora. I spent two years at St. Michael’s before being moved to St. Thomas More Parish in Centennial, where on any given weekend from May to October, I had at least one to three weddings. It was truly a “mega-church.” After three years at St. Thomas More I spent a year at St. Mary’s in Littleton.

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 8

Sat, 3 Oct 2009 10:02:52 -0600

When I graduated College Seminary, the Archbishop suggested I go to school in Rome for my theological studies. After five and a half years between High School and College of trying to learn Spanish, the mere thought of trying to learn another language didn’t sit well with me. Besides I wanted to study where I would eventually serve and I didn’t want to end up spending my priesthood in some Archdiocesan office, which seemed to be the case for most guys who went to Rome to study. So I chose to leave behind my classmates in California and return to St. Thomas Theological Seminary and start over, once again.

After my second year of theology, we were sent on a two week silent directed retreat to prepare us for the year ahead. That year would be known as our Pastoral Year where we would be assigned to live and work in a parish rectory and serve in the parish to get a feel for what life would be like after ordination. I spent my Pastoral Year at the Cathedral. It was a unique experience working with the poor, bringing communion to the sick, caring for various tasks around the parish and learning how to live in a rectory situation with other priests. To say the least, I learned a great deal.

After my Pastoral Year, I was elected as the Student Body President at St. Thomas Seminary. It was another changing time. The Vincentians, who owned and operated the Seminary, decided to bring all of their priesthood candidates to St. Thomas to study. The combined communities of Diocesan students and Vincentian students proved to be a very good combination with each of us sharing in each others spirituality. It seemed the seminary was experiencing new growth, but that excitement and growth would be short-lived and the seminary would once again be faced with closing its doors.

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 7

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:00:59 -0600

I remember that very first night in the seminary, lying in bed and thinking, “I can’t believe I’m here.” It felt like a dream come true. All the excitement of finally getting into the seminary and beginning my journey to priesthood seemed so unbelievable and yet so right at the same time. Before falling asleep I remembering thinking, “This is where God wants me and I’m so grateful.”

Classes, spiritual direction, formation meetings, social events all became part of the on-going formation towards helping me to make a firm commitment in my vocation, or at least the commitment to continue to pursue trying to figure out if this was God’s will for me. There were numerous bumps in the road along the way. However, these things always seemed to have an outcome that brought things into clearer view and helped in the building of that firm foundation.

At the conclusion of my second year of college seminary, it was decided to close the college portion of the Seminary program. Only the four year Theology Program would remain and the college students would have to go elsewhere to finish our education. At the time it seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen. It turned out to be the best single event for me and for the future life I would lead in the Church.

The Archdiocese chose to send their college seminary students to St. Patrick’s College in California or Conception Abbey in Missouri. Those of us already in formation went to St. Patrick’s in the Bay Area of California to complete our College Seminary program. Being in the Bay Area gave me a whole new world perspective and gave me friends to last a life time.

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 6

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 09:58:06 -0600

The time had come. All my High School friends knew where they were going to school and what path they would be taking after High School. I waited impatiently to find out whether after all the psychological tests and interviews if I would be accepted into the Seminary and as a seminarian for the Archdiocese of Denver.

Weeks and months passed. I finally received a letter from Archbishop Casey telling me I was accepted and would be receiving information from St. Thomas Seminary regarding the college seminary program which would begin in the Fall. I was humbled, elated and petrified.

I couldn’t believe I was actually accepted into seminary formation. For a fleeting moment I thought maybe all those years of “playing Mass” in the basement were finally going to pay off. Then coming to my senses, I realized what a humble privilege this was for me. The kid from Globeville who had essentially been raised by the Church and around the church was finally going to have a chance to serve the Church in a very unique way, following in the footsteps of his father and grandfather as “servant.”

I had been accepted to a few other Universities and had just received the award for Best Actor in our High School theatre production of “The Unsinkable Molly Brown.” Moreover, I had fallen head over heels for the girl who played the lead! We began dating when the news about seminary had arrived. Never thinking that I would be accepted into the seminary, I never dreamed I’d have to tell some girl, “I can’t date you anymore. I’ve decided to be a priest.” That just can’t be “good news” for any girl’s self-esteem. I later found out I was the second guy who had gone into the seminary that she had dated! Poor dear!

On September 14, 1978, I drove my car from home to St. Thomas Seminary in east Denver and unpacked my car into my new home away from home. The ORB (which stood for Old Red Brick, the original and first seminary building) became the place where my spiritual formation would begin with my other eleven classmates. The twelve of us had begun a new phase of our faith journey that would lead us all in varied directions.

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 5

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 09:55:38 -0600

Like most of the kids growing up in the sixties, I had a great imagination and used it to occupy my free time at play. There were no such things as video games, cable television and Wii. We didn’t even have color TV until my father won a little 19 inch Toshiba television in the early 70’s. And there was no dishwasher. After all, mom said she raised five dishwashers and we didn’t need the other kind. So, after school work and chores around the house, I would grab the nearest dish towel, tie it around my neck and head out the door as Superman. When I learned to ride my bike I became Batman, just because he had a cool “Batmobile.”

Now, if you remember, I told you I was totally mesmerized by the Mass. Therefore, growing up I also “played Mass” in our basement. I had to use chocolate Necco wafers to get my sisters to be in the congregation, but if they didn’t play I was perfectly content with imagining a full church complete with vestments made out of some of mom’s best Tea Towels, a wooden chalice made by my Uncle George and plenty of singing and preaching…yes, even way back then!

Needless to say, this made me less than popular among the other kids in the neighborhood. After all, for most of them it was bad enough they had to go to Mass on Sunday, much less during the week. So inviting them over to “play Mass” never captured a huge crowd. But again, that didn’t stop me. “Playing Mass” kept me occupied for quite some time and I enjoyed being the priest, however, I never thought it would ever be a reality. I just wasn’t as “holy” as the parish priests with whom I grew up.

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 4

Sat, 5 Sep 2009 09:53:39 -0600

I With my Catholic faith as my foundation, a parish family that loved and nurtured me as a young boy, my family as my example of what it meant to put God first and be faithful to His call, the seed of becoming a priest was planted.

I was mesmerized by the Mass. Each week I would go to church with my family, holding my mother’s hand and finding comfort in this special holy place. There were beautiful statues and sacred vessels, all in their proper place beckoning to the faithful to worship. The church was always clean and orderly with the hint of incense in the air.

The priests of the parish, Fr. Canjar and Fr. Mihelich, who could see my enthusiasm and devotion supported and encouraged every opportunity for me to use my God-given gifts to serve the parish. I was the youngest altar boy beginning in the third grade, while all the others started at the fourth grade. I was the youngest Director of Religious Education and Youth Minister, starting a youth program and heading up the RE program at age fifteen. I also became the youngest choir director when shortly before Christmas in 1976 the adult choir director quit and the pastor asked that the newly formed youth choir would become “the” choir of the parish.

My life in parish ministry had begun. Moreover, I found myself one of two parish employees. In my spare time, I was the parish Maintenance man. Cutting grass, removing snow, draining boilers and fixing and replacing the odds and ends of the parish facilities were just a few of my duties. It helped that we lived across the street and that my job often extended to the whole family. We were all involved. After all, “this was the church that grandpa built.”

Reflections of the Priesthood - part 3

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 09:49:40 -0600